


A Glitch in Time

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: Gratsu [46]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fear, Friendship/Love, Gratsu Weekend, M/M, Memories, Nightmares, Post-Alvarez Teikoku | Alvarez Empire Arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 12:58:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17960987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: “You belong here with me.” He might not be able to understand completely how Natsu felt, or how to make this feeling disappear, but there was no hint of uncertainty in his words, because no matter when or where Natsu had come from, or what he was. Natsu was his. They had tried being something else, back when they were too stubborn to admit that they were meant to be something more. They had almost lost each other too many times to count. All that had shown was that he needed Natsu, as much as he needed air, and his grip tightened, as though that would be enough to anchor Natsu, to give him a reason and a place to belong as he added almost desperately. “The rest we can work out.”The war had left scars on all of them.





	A Glitch in Time

_There was blood on his hands. Too much blood, and for a moment he waited for the pain to hit, not sure what attack had made it through his defences, but not knowing that the damage had to be bad for there to be that much blood. The pain never came. Instead, there was a pained, gurgling noise that drew his attention, and Gray looked up, heart turning to ice as rather than the monster he had been fighting seconds before, it was Natsu stood in front of him. Natsu who was clawing at his front. Natsu who was painted red, and falling…falling towards him with a strangled cry of his name, and Gray didn’t think as he lunged forward to catch him with an anguished shout…_

“NATSU!” He bolted upright, hands closing on empty air, and his chest heaving as he glanced around wildly. It had been so vivid, so real, that it took him a moment to focus and realise that he was in their bedroom. That he was safe. That he was alone…

     He frowned, realising that the warm body that should have been curled around him was nowhere to be seen, and when he reached out, running trembling hands over the indent where Natsu had been laid, the covers were cool to the touch. Which meant that the Dragon-slayer had been gone for a while. At least that explained the nightmare, as it had been a while since he’d had one that bad, Natsu’s presence and his insatiable need to cuddle close at night generally keeping them at bay. Not that it made his hands tremble any less or ease the horror that came from the knowledge that it was a nightmare based in truth, the memory of that fight, and just how close he had come to destroying Natsu itching beneath his skin. _Too close. It was far too close._ Not for the first time, he wondered how they could still be together, still be mates with what he had done, although he was careful not to voice that thought aloud the Dragon-slayer again, unable to bear the thought of seeing the same fear of being pushed away that had surfaced the first time he had put it into words.

    Shaking his head, marvelling as always at the heart his mate possessed, especially after everything that had happened, he sat up and glanced across at the lacrima clock on the wall. It was early, not even two in the morning, which made Natsu’s absence even more worrying and taking a deep breath, trying to settle the last of the tremors in his hand, he slipped out of bed. And promptly stumbled, grumbling at his wayward mate as he realised that it was Natsu’s clothes that were scattered across the ground, although he couldn’t say that he was much better he admitted, glancing across at the overflowing laundry basket in the corner. Laundry, and a tidy wee in order later today he thought, especially as it wouldn’t be long before the others talked them into another job, and he grimaced at the thought. At least Natsu would be easy to convince, as he was always happy to do anything that meant more time for just the two of them, even if it did involve chores.   

     For now, he just kicked them out of the way, before heading for the door. There was no light in the bathroom, which was a relief, as he had discovered that Natsu would go out of his way to hide if he was feeling under the weather, and the Ice Mage had learned that he needed to keep an eye out for the signs. More concerning was the fact that the rest of the apartment was quiet, and apart from a dimmed lacrima in the hallway, there seemed to be no light or sign of life as he headed for the kitchen and living room. The former was empty, with none of the usual devastation to show that Natsu had been raiding the cupboards. However, he finally found signs of his mate in the living room, although it did nothing to ease his concern, instead ratcheting up several notches, as he spied the scarf lying abandoned over the arm of the sofa.

_Natsu…_

    The scarf had always been Natsu’s most prized possession, but since Igneel’s death, he had become almost obsessive about keeping it safe. So, for it to be here, with no sign of Natsu, as the sofa and even the armchair that the Dragon-slayer loved curling up in was empty, was worrying. _Natsu._ There was nowhere else for him to be, Gray’s apartment offering few chances for the Dragon-slayer to hide, and he found his gaze locked on the scarf. _Has he finally left? Is this a farewell?_ Usually, he would never have thought about that possibility, but the nightmare was still to close, and he swallowed, hands clenching at his side. But no. He knew Natsu better than anyone, and he knew that if Natsu were really going to give up on him at last, then he wouldn’t do it quietly or in the middle of the night, they cared too much about each other to do something like that.

Which meant that it was one of those nights.    

    Gray wasn’t blind, he knew that Natsu was still haunted by everything that had happened with Zeref. His nightmares might’ve been less frequent than Gray’s, but they were more intense, usually waking both of them as Natsu cried out and on more than one occasion set fire to the bed. It was there in the way that his mate, while still destructive to the point where he was sure that Laxus’ was already starting to go white having to deal with the fallout, was infinitely more careful when they were nearby…and way more destructive than he had ever been before if they were injured. And it was there, on the nights like this. Thankfully few and far between, when Natsu would just disappear, searching for answers to questions that Gray didn’t always understand, seeking something that the Dragon-slayer wasn’t ready to tell him about.

   Sometimes Gray would leave him alone, letting Natsu come back to him when he was ready. However, this was the first time that Natsu had left his scarf behind, and that coupled with the remnants of his nightmare had him uneasy, and he worried at his bottom lip. There were too many places Natsu could go – depending on where the mood took him. But the only place that Gray could remember Natsu mentioning going to after one of those nights, was the Guild, and with nothing else to go on, he decided to try there first and hope and pray the Dragon-slayer hadn’t gone elsewhere. He hesitated for a second before snatching up the scarf and wrapping it around his own neck, knotting it tightly, although he knew from experience that it was the one item of clothing that he had never unconsciously removed. He wasn’t sure what had prompted Natsu to leave it behind, or whether he would appreciate having it brought to him, but there was something about the thought of his mate without it, that left him on edge. And his fingers lingered for a moment as he buried his nose in it, drinking in the Dragon-slayer’s unique blend of cinnamon,  campfires and something deeper and more earthy.

_Natsu, what is going on in that head of yours?_

********

Magnolia was quiet at this time of night, and Gray could feel more traces of his nightmare disappearing as he looked around, because out here he could see the hard work that had been put into bringing the city back to life after the destruction of the war. He could see the proof of life, the bunting and lights already strung across the strings as Magnolia readied herself for the Fantasia parade, everyone putting in extra effort this year, and it eased a knot in his chest.

   The sight of the guild looming out of the darkness, chased away the last traces, the guild building that had been through so much and so many reincarnations, standing tall in the lights now strung along the upper balconies. A declaration that Fairy Tail was there, alive, and standing tall despite everything that had been thrown at it, and he couldn’t help but smile for a moment, although it was tinged with familiar grief as he imagined what Makarov would feel if he could see them standing tall now. However, it didn’t last long as he squared his shoulders, fingers reaching for the scarf once more as he headed for the doors.

   It had never been unusual to find the odd person still up and about in the guild at this time of the morning, or occasionally sprawled out fast asleep. However, it had become a lot more common since the end of the war, and he was unsurprised to spot several people sleeping in the booths, a light on up in the top office – knowing that Laxus was only just beginning to pull back from burying himself endlessly in his work as Guild Master. What was more unusual was to see Mira bustling around behind the bar, looking weary but awake, although it didn’t take long to realise why as he spotted Erza as well. The reequip mage was asleep at the end of the bar, head buried in her arms, and an empty plate beside her. She often sought out the guild when the nightmares were too bad, and Mira would never leave her to sit on her own, and he wondered when they were going to do something about that. Maybe, he would say something…or not, because Erza was still terrifying, even though they had all grown and changed.

“Mira,” he greeted quietly as he approached the bar, shooting a sideways glance at Erza, and catching the way the Takeover mage immediately bristled protectively, ready to intercede if he showed any sign of disturbing the other woman and he smirked knowingly at her, watching crimson colour her cheeks. “Have you seen Natsu?” As much as he would have liked to tease her, the scarf around his neck was a reminder of why he was here, and Mira followed his hand as he reached for it again, and there was a pained expression on her face as she tilted her head towards the door behind the bar.

“He’s down in the library.”

“The library?” Gray echoed, not quite disbelieving but close.

“He’s been there quite a bit lately,” Mira replied. “I’m not sure what he’s looking for, but he’s been going through some of the older books.” Gray didn’t know what to make of that, unable to imagine his mate willingly seeking out books to read without someone prompting him, remembering the way he had grumbled and protested when Erza had taken it on herself to make sure he could read properly. Sure, he could read fine now, but he wasn’t the sort to do it just for fun. “Gray? Is everything okay?” Goodness knows what his expression had been showing because there was alarm in her voice as she spoke, and he tried to find the words to reassure her, before giving up and settling with.

“I’ll get back to you on that.” With a wave he headed for the library door, feeling her worried gaze following him and careful to skirt around Erza as he did.

Gray hesitated for a moment before he pushed the door to the library open, uncertainty settling heavy in the pit of his stomach. _Natsu, what the hell is going on in that head of yours?_ He’d half been expecting Mira to be wrong, to find no sign of his mate, or to find Natsu napping or causing mischief – although why he’d choose to do that in the middle of the night escaped him. “Natsu? Natsu…?” He called, voice trailing off as he stepped further inside and came to an abrupt halt, as his eyes landed on the wayward Dragon-slayer, stunned to find that Mira hadn’t been wrong. That Natsu was curled up in one of the armchairs that Levy had fought to have installed to make the long hours she spent down here more comfortable, wide awake, his attention seemingly riveted on the large book in his lap. However, Gray could tell better, and he knew that whatever his mate was seeing, it wasn’t on the pages in front of him, but somewhere far off in the distance. “Natsu, what are you doing?” He tried again, realising that Natsu hadn’t reacted to his presence, but there was still no reply and cautiously he moved closer, knowing better than to startle the Fire Mage.

    Drawing closer, he realised that there were drying tear tracks on Natsu’s face, stark against the unusually pale face, and Gray wondered if he wasn’t the only one to have been driven out of bed by nightmares tonight. He itched to reach out and brush them away, but the lost expression on the Dragon-slayer’s face made him approach slowly. “Natsu?”  When there was still no sign of a reaction or flames, he drew alongside and risked a glance at the book that Natsu was holding, eyebrows rising when he realised it was a heavy history tome, something that Natsu had never shown an interest in before. He would ask about it later, for now, more interested in getting a response from his mate, and he crouched so that he could peer up into Natsu’s face and reached out to gently brush his fingers against Natsu’s hand. “Come on, Natsu, please look at me…” He deliberately let a pleading note seep into his voice, and this time he was rewarded by Natsu blinking, before olive eyes slowly drifted towards him, still clouded and distant, but finally seeing him.

 “Gray?”

“Hey,” Gray greeted softly, and now that he had been acknowledged he could do what he had been itching today, reaching up and beginning to brush away the evidence of Natsu’s tears, relieved when the Dragon-slayer leaned ever so slightly into his touch. “What’s going on?” He asked. There were a dozen questions that he wanted to, but he wasn’t sure which ones would set Natsu off, and that seemed the safest, although maybe not as Natsu stiffened beneath his touch and glanced down at the book. “Natsu?” He prompted when it seemed like the Dragon-slayer was getting lost in his thoughts again, and he was unprepared for the raw anguish in Natsu’s eyes when he looked up a moment later.

“W-where do I belong?” Natsu’s voice cracked and broke, and Gray frowned, not liking the question one little bit but understanding, eyes darting down to where Natsu was gripping the book tightly, knuckles almost white with the force of his grip. “I…” Natsu tried again, before breaking off with a soft noise and a shake of his head, and it took a moment for things to click into place in Gray’s mind, and when it did, he had to fight back a growl, heart aching as he saw the lost expression on his mate’s face. He had known that Natsu wasn’t over what had happened with Zeref, and everything they had learned about his past, about who he was, and all the plans and expectations that had been laid on him. That he had died back then…. Yet, for the most part, Natsu seemed to have brushed it off. He had fought, and they had won, and they were moving forward, and yet right now Gray could see for the first time just how much those revelations were hurting Natsu. After all, how are you supposed to reconcile the fact that you weren’t supposed to be alive, let alone in this time, with the fact that you were? He wasn’t sure that he could, and his heart ached at that realisation especially when Natsu whispered, more to himself than anything else.

“I’m just a glitch in time…”

    Fumbling he unwrapped the scarf from around his neck, hoping that the familiar presence would help settle Natsu as he draped it around the Dragon-slayer’s neck, before reaching down and taking the book. There was a moment where Natsu refused to release his grip, and the Ice Mage thought he might fight for it, but then the tension drained out of his mate and Natsu slumped, allowing him to remove the book. He spared a brief glimpse at the page, not sure how he felt seeing the timeline of Fiore’s history before he closed it and set it aside, before reaching out and pulling Natsu into a tight hug. “You belong here with me.” He might not be able to understand completely how Natsu felt, or how to make this feeling disappear, but there was no hint of uncertainty in his words, because no matter when or where Natsu had come from, or what he was. Natsu was his. They had tried being something else, back when they were too stubborn to admit that they were meant to be something more. They had almost lost each other too many times to count. All that had shown was that he needed Natsu, as much as he needed air, and his grip tightened, as though that would be enough to anchor Natsu, to give him a reason and a place to belong as he added almost desperately. “The rest we can work out.”

_The rest we will work out, because I’m not going to lose you._


End file.
